Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Grand Optimist.

This song came on my generic music device yesterday, it was quite apt really, I'm missing my Grand Optimist a lot this week. Just one sentence and I'm ok, that's all it took. These days such resolve comes after a week of fighting my thoughts.

 It's tiring. It's unfair, It's unjust.

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Fornication in Cali

"All those things that weren't supposed to happen,  they happened.
What happens next is up to you"
- Californication

Loud and clear.

Sunday, 14 October 2012


Is there a future in this?!

Saturday, 13 October 2012


Life is good. 

Life is very good right now.

Thank you Walker.

Monday, 8 October 2012


Job searching really is a pain the the arse, it all just feels a bit backwards. I'm sat at a computer trawling through hundreds of jobs looking for something that 'best fits'. I'm sat looking for a job that; that what? Interests me? Excites me? Suits me? These search engines lump jobs into a category, Sales jobs, Legal jobs, IT jobs, Leisure jobs, Web jobs?! This all feels wrong. Why can't I give you my interests and my categories instead of hopelessly trying to mould myself into a pre determined category. Talk about being a sheep. I've compiled a list of my likes, strengths, interests, hobbies, call them what you like, but surely this way you could find the perfect job, because it would originate purely from what makes you who you are. Generate from the original source.

So here is a list of things I find interesting and enjoy.

Psychology & People,
Being Outdoors,
Film Sets,
New Zealand,
Farming! (Surprised to type this one)

...My perfect job based on these words would be...

Sports Psychology?
Physiotherapy? (Sports)
Forestry work?
Seaman? Whey!
Mountain bike leader?
Surf instructor?
Tree Surgeon?

None of these?

What do you think? Do I really have to 'fit' into one of these categories, can I not break the mould? 

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." -Steve Jobs

I feel like I have no direction in life, but perhaps it is ok to feel like that because perhaps it will all just happen. That still does not detract from the fact that it sometimes bugs me. So when I decide to do something totally random, I'll do it, because surely everything is essentially a product of cause and effect, every single person you meet in life, every single experience you have gives you something. Invaluable insight whether immediately obvious or not comes to mind. This insight will either help me broaden my 'life categories', my 'job categories' or completely destroy them.
I must remember this when I next think;

"What am I doing, where am I going?"

We are always going somewhere, even when we don't feel like it, we are always on the road to something, not just death, which obviously is what we are all heading towards (which in itself can be a very good motivator, I'm not just being morbid) but the next chapter, the next beginning, we are on the road, on a journey, and every day whether good or bad is apart of that journey, expanding and exploding the designated categories of life, every day is required, every day makes us.

I'm just not made yet.

Tuesday, 2 October 2012


I'm on self destruct, and I'm down to single digits.
I'm over doing things, pushing things, perusing things.
Constantly on the go with no time to breathe,
Running from memories and past scenes.
If I keep on and don't stop, the past will stay at bay,

Until I stop.

I'm afraid to stop.

Stopping hurts more than the running, the pushing and the pursuing.

I can't keep on like this, I'm so tired. 

I need to face the silence of an empty weekend.

I need to exist in nothing, and be nothing in its existence.

I'm on self destruct, and I'm down to single digits.
I'm over doing things, pushing things, perusing things.
Constantly on the go with no time to breathe,
Running from memories and past scenes.

About Me

My photo
I started this Blog to document the amazing streak of bad luck I was having throughout 2010, I'd like to think my luck has changed for 2011...time will tell.