On the 26th Novermber 2011 I wrote..
"...well I have Dad, I've done you proud, and I will keep doing so forever, and I hope you don't mind but I might just get your initials tattooed on my wrist so that just in case I ever waver in life I have an instant reminder of everything I stand for, my morals, beliefs, motivations and my main source of inspiration. You were a fantastic dad, and my best friend, and if I can be half the man you were I will be satisfied. I think I've made a good start. Love you always. "

Well I did Dad.

Money?

I'd rather be poor and live for the moments that money cannot buy,

than be rich and live for the experiences that one buys with money.

- Jack Stephen Wetherbee.

Grave.

I put some flowers on an unattended grave today.

Partly because doing so features in the book

"this book will change your life" by Ben Carey & Henrik Delehag

but also I think because I wanted to do something selfless. But then when is anything selfless when we are often driven to do it to make ourselves feel better?

To be honest I wanted to put some flowers on the grave of an old neighbour of ours, dad used to, and I guess I felt I should be keeping up the tradition. Finding the grave was impossible, so I lay some flowers on an unnamed grave and on my old maths teachers stone. Mark Stevenson.

Did I do it because I wish I could do something for Dad? I think so. I would like to have a place to go, at the moment his ashes are under the bed in the spare room. Yer because that was his favourite place ever! Soon he will be on the golf course on his favourite fairway. Much more dignified.

A place to go, to be near to him, to talk to him. We all need that Everyone needs that.

Shower

Just found this, I think I wrote it 2 months ago.

these tears filled with spite, regret, and anger, are cleansed only with the water from above, yet nothing changes, the clean water replaces the burdened tears, but the origin of the emotion remains deep within.

Nothing can cleanse these tears, nothing.