Appreciate

I woke up to the sound of woodpeckers and cuckoos this morning. I've showered, eaten, and sat down at my desk.

I've opened the window. The clouds are lining up in uniform, regimenting the brilliant blue behind it, the greens of the trees are a steady glow, and the foreground of my view is filled with blossom. Pink from a tree to my right, and floating effortlessly from the left to the right is small fluffy blossom carried on a breeze from a tree that simply resembles a giant dandy lion. The wind breeches my window every now and then and carries in a few pieces of tree fluff which enter and float down before settling. Fleet Foxes - Mykonos orchestrates this sight for now, but in between tracks the birds have their say, chiff chaff, chirp accompanied by the bristling wind in the trees. Green, blue, white, pink.

I feel lucky today, lucky to be alive, lucky to have my health, because none of this means anything to anyone, if you do not have your health.

I'm appreciating it, for as long as I'm appreciating things I will not worry for my own mental health.

Enjoy.

+ve

I genuinely think that things are starting to pick up in my life.

Though will I feel like this next week?

Even I don't know the answer to that.

Song of the week #14

I just wrote the nastiest blog ever, so nasty that I felt guilty and deleted it.

Though rest assured...it felt fucking good.

MUSIC - Eargasm...no wait I just blew up my ear drums.

Song of the week #13

Stupid, rubbish, but I keep listening to it.

Das Racist - You Oughta Know

Gone.

So many missed opportunities. I hate myself for it.

Three years of uni gone in a flash.

If I could re do it, I would change so much.

I wish I had 'no regrets'. Right now my entire life feels like a massive regret.

Getting out of bed in the morning is going to suck.


I drank so much drink, smoked so much hash.

I rode my bike too much and destroyed my head.

I looked romance square in the face and saw straight through it.

I wandered through uni doing what I wanted to do.

I wandered through uni by myself.


Three years of uni, felt like one year in a haze.

Nothing holds up for you, the good moments never last long enough.

Tomorrow will be another day of the same shit.

It feels like I see regret everywhere I look.

Everything I do is tainted with bad luck.


I regret Vodka, I regret riding so much downhill, I regret many people, Houses, Choosing a uni so far away.

so much regret that I regret myself.

I was pushing 60 the other day...

...really, well i struggle with the resistance of a rubber band, no shit.

I'm fucking hardcore I am.

dooo do do do do doooooooooo doooooooooo doooooooo doooooooooooo do

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGelieqTF7U

dooo do do do do doooooooooo doooooooooo doooooooo doooooooooooo do