Well, Ive told my parents about my little problem, now I was expecting them to not really be able to give me an answer, however I wasnt expecting them to be quite as shell shocked as they were. They didnt really know what to say to me, which wasnt all that reassuring, but we talked for a good half hour and at least they now know. I dont want to say what the issue is, but rest assured im not going anywhere.
At first, with hind-sight, I seemed to have verry successfully repressed the entire situation for at least a week, however a few beers with a good friend and the topic surfaced. This was bad; I was quite happy ignoring everything, however keeping it inside was bad and mentally unhealthy. I do beleive telling my parents was a good idea, however I cant help feeling that simply carring on 'under the radar' would have been just as rewarding for my mental state! They already have enough to think about without wondering if im ok, I do feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders though, and for now I can focus on revision and uni.
Untill my exams are over I've just got to put my situation in a box and lock it away and just make sure I do re-open it when the time is right.
Im far too young to making these kind of moral decisions!! but its not going to go away and resolve itself, this is perhaps one of the biggest and most important decision i have ever had to make, mellodramatic? sadly not.
There are plenty of good things going on at the same time though, I had a really good surf at Polzeath a few days ago, and in the next few days im squeezing in some biking. Im spending more and more time doing the things I love in an attempt to keep my sanity at an exceptable level, however in doing so im compromising the amount of work I do for my exams, which ironically will, in time, allow me to do those things I love so much.
oh life you prove so testing! well thats the serious things dealt with for the time being. hopefully things for the time being will pick up!
Perhaps I should introduce myself, im Wurthers.